What has your significant other (husband, wife, lover, boyfriend, girlfriend) done to drive you crazy lately?
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You ever feel like writing something not really for anyone in particular to read? Just a rant or rave or Why Me? Here is the place to do it. I will Open the day and rant away in the comments. Under your blogger name or as the infamous Anonymous. Here is the place where everyone is Anonymously Me. No judgements on posters please. Feel free to Let it out! Most of all ENJOY!
Things are crazy busy in his world the last couple weeks. He wants to make plans to spend the day together. I question him because of all that is going on, but he wants to see me....awww right? Wrong.....he's so distracted when we are together about all the things he should be doing! I ended up just sending him home to work. I knew better, why didn't he?
ReplyDeleteDear J,
ReplyDeleteLying.
Dude. I aaallllways find out.
It's been a decade and you still haven't figured this out?
I don't even look for it. Shit falls in my lap.
That "look" you think is my 'mad' one? Isn't.
It's the "why in the hell would you lie about something like this? something I could give two shits about?" Look.
Oh.
And the way you puff your cigarette so loud.
Like an 8.0 earthquake hitting a china shop Loud?
It makes me want to take that burning American Spirit and shove it up your left nostril.
It's LOUD babe.
Always yours, Always Mine, Big Fucking Kisses...
Krista
Dear Neighbor,
Whistle much?
Like 14hours and 24 minutes a day too much?
I'm going to ignore the last 3 months of 7am jackhammers taking affect 40 feet from my bedroom window.
I'm going to ignore the city legislated cranes ( cuz damn right I called to find out the legalistics ((sp? don't care to check... it's too fucking early eighbor,))... you have no right to even drill your precious hole until 9am!!))... (I lie about ignoring. I've got my lawyers on Stand-by.) Your "peeps" showed up at 7am every morning to move one brick from the front of your house to the back. VIA CONCRETE MULCH TRUCK! Oh wait? You live in the fancy "GREEN" house? You moved from Alaska. To Oregon? You "know" how we roll? Um no. WE BASK IN INDEPENDENT FILMS, MICRO-BEERS.....music! You have HANDS! Um. i'm going to ignore the pavement roller that pulled up 10 feet in front of my bedroom window to lay your new fancy driveway and backporch. I'm going to ignore your WRETCHED, SAD, grunting-louder-than-a-heyena-fucking-a-virgin WIFE ..... exhuding this exhaustion with every shovel load of dirt you make her haul from the front to the back of your precious bungalow.
THE. CEMENT. MIXER.
YOUUUUUU DOUCHE!
My Grandfather? He's 76 and stopped over to drop off cookies his 54year old girlfriend sent me. Before knocking on my door... his construction- infatuated self... barbershop singing... (complete with the lemon yellow bows and JazzHands!!) ... HEARD HIMSLEF think ... youre "dusting" the outside of your house. He approached you to say "hello".
Chipper chipper, dust your knee, do a fucking jig and whistle again Neighbor. That'd be YOU.
My yellow bow-tied, singing about long legs in pastels and pies on a shelf Grandfather even said....
"He's too chipper my Krista. Keep your guard up. He's not okay."
My Grandfather does " JAZZ HANDS!!!! " "3 TIMES A WEEK!" "57 miles away!" I'm jealous because my 76 year old grandfather travels to Vegas to get his sing on!!
But even GRANDPA calls my neighbor batty!!
"He's too chipper Krista. Always beware of the chipper ones."
Jazz hands. Nothing is more chipper than Jazz Hands. In
NO ONE puts in a 14 hour day sanding something that is already baby-ass smooth.
My hand-jazz 76 year old Grandfather even called you out on your shit.
FUCK "Just Say No To Drugs".
Long Live... "FUCK WHISTLING! BITCH!".
My thing is that it pisses me off that I can find anyone. I live in a small town and am just sick of being judged because of what I look like. Some of the other poeple my age a totally stuck up and two-faced and they seem to find plenty of guys. I just want to find a nice guy that respects me and doesn't just want to get laid.
ReplyDeleteI hate my life and often think of sucide. but what would my kids do without me.
ReplyDeleteNothing. Absolutely nothing! Got the picture?
ReplyDelete